Slowing Down to Enjoy the Little Things

This morning didn’t go as planned.  Wow!  How many days could I start off with THAT sentence! It was a typical morning in our house.  We got up, ate breakfast, I showered, Bryson watched a show, Bryson took a bath, Bryson took another bath…yes, that’s right.  I have always been impressed that he had never ‘dirtied’ the bath water.  There have been times he needed to go and he would stand up and insist on getting out of the tub beforehand.  But not this morning (and I had just bragged on him yesterday about this very thing).  I turned around to put something away and heard the dreaded words…”Momma, yucky!”

The bath water was beyond disgusting and so began the process of getting him out of the tub, draining the tub, cleaning the tub, filling the tub up again, putting Bryson back in the tub and finally giving him his final bath for the morning…sigh.  It wasn’t even 9:00 and a nap was calling my name!  

This may have been fine any other morning but not for today.  We had lunch plans, errands to run, my parents coming into town, a house to clean, a baby shower and Life Group fellowship to get ready for…well, you get the picture.  So we were behind before we ever left the house. 

What happened between the front door and Bryson’s car seat is what stopped me dead in my tracks despite our tardiness.  As I locked the front door, I headed towards the van to put our stuff down and strap Bryson into his seat.  The problem was (and I know no one has ever experienced this but me, right?) Bryson had headed in the opposite direction of the van. 

The next few minutes went something like this…”Bryson, let’s go!”  No answer.  “Bryson, we need to hurry up!  Please come get in your seat.”  No Bryson.  He was always in my line of sight; I just missed what he was doing.  I watched him stare down at the grass and bend over.  I was starting to get annoyed…because when he gets in his own little world, mine stops revolving around me and my schedule. 

As I started towards him, he started towards me with his sippy cup in tow.  But that wasn’t all.  In his hand was a tiny little yellow flower, a weed actually.  He had picked it just for me.  As he walked my way, his precious little voice said, “Momma, momma, momma…look!”  He handed it to me with that sweet dimpled smile.

All of a sudden it was okay that we were late.  My son had taken time out of my rushing him to enjoy something and share that enjoyment with me.  Oh to be that small again and to not know how to tell time and enjoy not knowing what it means to be late or behind schedule.   Oftentimes, it really is the small things that bless you the most. 

So my little two year old has served as a huge reminder to enjoy the small things.  His little act of kindness challenges me to do my best in all things, but in the process, not to miss out on the small things.  What is even more ironic?  We weren’t late at all…we had arrived early.  Which gave me a little extra time to love on this little boy God gave me to put life into perspective. 

Time to Get My Move On!

Intentions.  We all have them.  I cannot tell you the amount of time and energy I have exerted on thinking about what I need to do to make our lives better.  I need to start my day earlier, I need to start my day with quiet times, I need to clean out all the closets in my house, I need to have a garage sale, I need to schedule lunch with so and so, I need to develop a routine.  I need to, I need to, I need to.  When what I need to do is BREATHE! 

It is not secret that we all want to be better wives, moms, friends, homemakers and Christians.  We want people to see us as having it all together and living life to its fullest.  Just typing that makes me smile.  I have resolved that if people ever come to that conclusion about me, they just have it all wrong!  I spend a whole lot of time dreaming and wishing for what I want to be and very little time making headway.  Everything looks SO GOOD on paper!  Unfortunately for me, many times, that is where it stays.  God bless my husband who knows this about me and loves me anyway!

I am an all or nothing kind of girl.  We have a garage to clean out.  Every time I go out there, I see huge piles of things I don’t even remember accumulating.  It is a daunting picture.  So generally, I shut the door and just find the room in the house that creates the illusion that I am organized and clean.  I am drawn to the rooms that take my thoughts far away from that garage.  We have lived in our home for over a year and a half and yet still park outside.  Wow!  I actually just made myself laugh out loud at how silly that sounds!  

You know what I have found though?  Anywhere I plant myself, clutter follows pretty close behind.  Ugh!  We are such strange creatures!  

I find my heart is the same.  I have a lot of junk to sort through.  I seem to think I can suppress it until I have to deal with it.  But then I find that suppressing it has never helped anyone.  It is like shoving things into a closet time and time again in order to clean up a room.  I feel better because I don’t see any messes.  All my things are ‘picked up’.  I can relax and enjoy my cozy little home.  That is, until the day finally comes.  I have stuffed so many things in that closet and it can no longer contain my overflow.  I open the door to grab (or hunt for) one item and the heaping pile has turned into a ginormous avalanche that can no longer be ignored.

I have a choice to make.  I can either try to stack everything back into the closet in a way to avoid another mishap (which WILL happen).  Or I can take that time to put a dent in the mess.  To deal with what I have ignored for so long.  Even if it is putting away ten things, that is ten things no longer contributing to the mess.

 

The other thing I realize is I am not always going to be the one who opens that closet.  I am not the only one that could fall victim to the avalanche that is inevitable.  What if it is our children?  What if it is my husband?  

The truth is, whether it is physical clutter or emotional.  It WILL affect others around us.  What we store up will eventually be exposed…and it can be ugly!  It can hurt people we never intended on hurting.  I have no idea where this blog post finds you today, but it finds me in a place of discovery and hope.  Discovery that I do not have to fix everything today, but I can certainly DO something to start the process, instead of MAKING PLANS to do my best. Hope that God has given me another day to make some headway.  What a gift!  And yet too often, I waste it. 

What I am most excited about in this discovery?  I am not alone.  My Heavenly Father knows my weaknesses.  He sees my trouble spots.  He is aware of my tendencies.  He truly gets my longings to do better.  He even understands my intense desire to avoid the work and be able to snap my fingers to fix everything so I can start fresh.  What I love about Him is He knows me and He loves me anyway.  He knows if it didn’t take some time and effort, I would never learn from my experiences.  I would find myself in the same mess all over again.

God truly wants us to DO and BE our best in all aspects of life.  But He loves us too much to just give it to us.  He wants to be there for the journey to help us sort through the things we don’t need to carry with us.  He has our best interest at heart and sees the BIG picture, when all we see is a pile of stuff.  The pile of stuff that, once dealt with, opens our eyes to bigger and better things.  

 

So let’s get moving!  Let’s set our minds to BE the change we want to see.  Even if you only spend five minutes of your day doing so, you are five minutes further than you were this morning! 

Why I Chose to be a Distributor for Young Living

So do you ever find out someone you know on Facebook or another social media avenue has become a distributor and quickly finding yourself resort to an eye roll that says, “Well, here we go.  Another fabulous product I can’t live without and I am crazy if I don’t try it.”?  If I can be honest, I certainly have.  We live in an age where everyone is researching the newest thing and once they have found it, it is TO DIE FOR! 

When I became an independent distributor for Young Living Essential Oils, I knew I was officially in “that group”.  That group of people who only post about their business and what you are missing out on if you don’t jump in and order soon!  But wait, act now and I’ll throw in (fill in the blank)….for FREE!  I shudder to think I may have become that person in anyone’s mind.

The truth is, when I find something I am passionate about…I talk about it!  Generally, whether good or bad, that is what Facebook is all about, right?  You have the choice to read all about it or to scroll right on past.  I promise, I won’t hold it against you should you choose to do the latter. 

When I realized all that Essential Oils could do, it was a HUGE light bulb moment for me.  When I ordered and received my starter kit, it was a HUGE light bulb moment for me.  When I decided I wanted to be a distributor for these oils, because they really do WORK, it was a HUGE light bulb moment for me.  When I was able to run over samples to my friend’s homes to help them with a queasy stomach or horrific headache, it was a HUGE light bulb moment for me.  How many times have you heard “I am sorry you don’t feel well, if there was something I could do, I would.”?


This is a company that has a product that isn’t about carrying around the latest fashion, cooking with the coolest gadgets, wearing the coolest jewelry or investing in something for just me. No…these products could benefit everyone and the company has been around for 20 years!  Essential Oils have done wonders for my skin care, hair care and diet.  They have eased up headaches, nausea, sore muscles, ear aches and much more.  They have helped curb my appetite and get me on track to a healthier lifestyle.  They have helped me get the best night’s rest I have had in YEARS.  They have enabled me to get off my anti-depressants prescriptions of 8 YEARS!  And that is just ME…the same oils that do these things for me have helped my family in countless ways!  Young Living, for me, isn’t about another latest fad that has the potential to supplement our income (though it does).  It is discovering, exploring and testing out ways that I can use 100% pure oils to guard the health of my family as well as myself.  We are talking OVERALL health too!  There is always going to be an essential oil that can help with something and I love being the mom that my family comes to in order to find out which one!



Why wouldn’t I want to share?  Now, hear me when I say…my family still eats at fast food restaurants.  We are not health nuts (I say that with utmost respect) who refuse to ever eat anything classified as “junk”.  We do not exercise regularly (though I have taken up running lately and am thoroughly enjoying it).  We do our best, but we also love convenience!

So, when you see me post about essential oils, please do me a favor.  Try to go easy on me, okay?  Oils are extremely addicting…especially after you discover how well they work!  We do all have passions…mine just happens to be one that I get to share and help support my family financially in the process!  Outside of that, essential oils have really become a part of our everyday life (hubby included…he loves using them and often calls me Mama Smurf…ha!).

I wish there was a way around becoming one of “those” people.  Maybe someday, if you try essential oils, you will look back and think “Aha!”…that would actually be pretty cool!  But if not, please love me and just scroll on past my oily messages.  I promise intermingled in there will be updates on my family and how we are doing with occasional pictures and videos as proof!  

When You See Me Smile

There are people we meet in our lives that have one of those stories. A story that brings about feelings of disgust and disappointment and leaves you wondering what God could do with a person like that. 

For a few years now, I have wrestled with tons of emotions.  Recently, I have broken down some serious barriers that have changed my perspective on this life God has chosen to allow me to continue.  I cannot help but have JOY!  It isn’t a joy the world gives…I have found that to be a FALSE joy that can easily be taken away with a misunderstood look, a hurtful statement, offensive gossip, a friendship that has parted ways and by simple reminders of how ugly my sin is.  My smile has a story.  Not a story I have written, but that God has written in my heart as He has walked me through a serious time of healing and continues to do so. 

  

 So why do I smile you ask?  Well, let me tell you first why I am NOT smiling.

I am not smiling because I am proud of myself or my accomplishments.

I am not smiling because I made poor choices and got away with them.

I am not smiling because I am smug in my life regardless of its effects on others.

I am not smiling because I want others to think I’ve got this all figured out.

I am not smiling because I am thrilled at the people I hurt to get where I am at today.

I am not smiling because it all worked out for me.

I am not smiling because I got a new life and the cost was worth it.

I am not smiling because I want people to see us as a happy little blended family.

I am not smiling because I no longer care about my past.

I am not smiling because I think God thought enough of me to make things work out.

I am not smiling because I feel a sense of entitlement.

I am not smiling because I have something to prove.

I am not smiling because I think I have earned the right to.

I am not smiling because I have found a way to be victorious in my own strength.

I am not smiling because I no longer think about and hurt for my step-children and their mother.

I am not smiling because I have moved on.

I am not smiling because I want others to think I am strong.

So then why DO I smile?

I smile because of all God has accomplished in my heart as I chose to learn some of life’s hardest lessons the hard way.

I smile because His Grace is enough to cover my lowest points and His cross is ENOUGH for even the vilest of sinners such as me.

I smile because God hasn’t given up on me and provides me opportunities every day to bring Him glory and keep my focus on Him.

I smile because I know I don’t have it all figured out, but God does.

I smile because God can use the ugliest circumstances and use them for His good if we choose to use our story to further His.

I smile because God knows every single feeling deep within my soul and the He agrees with the longing I have for Him to redeem all the time I wasted pursuing my own selfish gain.

I smile because God is working things out for the good in my life and for my family. 

I smile because, though my life is different, I am still alive.  God is not through with me.

I smile because God uses my husband, son, stepdaughter and stepson to teach me some of the most important life lessons I have learned thus far.

I am smiling because my past does not define me, but it has shaped my outlook on life and what is truly important and helped me see how quickly I can lose my way.

I am smiling because I know what it is to take my eyes off of Christ and what it is to not ever want to turn my eyes away ever again.

I am smiling because though my sin is great, His grace is greater.

I am smiling because my failure was HUGE, but God’s mercy is still bigger!

I am smiling because God has given me a reason to in His loving compassion.

I am smiling because I have found complete JOY in His presence.

I am smiling because the Cross of Christ makes it never too late for repentance and redemption.

I am smiling because God can use the ugliest stories to draw men and women to Him.

I am smiling because my destiny is not determined by man but by God and His undying love.

I am smiling because I have realized my utter weakness and how His strength can shine through.

I am smiling because with God’s grace and love for me, there is never a reason not to!

I am smiling because I am a true sinner rescued from captivity and am blameless only because of the blood of Jesus!

Will I fail again?  Yes.  Will I have bad days?  Guaranteed.  Will I ever have days of mourning? Absolutely. But the only JOY we can ever experience is the JOY that is found in God’s presence.  That is a JOY that cannot be shaken in even the worst of times.  Life is not about me…it isn’t about what others think of me…it isn’t about pats on the back.  It is about a Creator that invites us to be a part of His Story.  When we sin, our story is not over…or at least it doesn’t have to be.  We make a choice how we want our story to end.  If our desire is to make God famous in our lives, we can be assured that God wants the same.  He can and WILL give us the desires of our hearts!

As I am reminded of Jeremiah 29:11…I cannot simply stop at verse 11.  Have you ever read the verses that follow?  Jeremiah 29:11-14 says,

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.  I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

This makes my heart dance!  Sometimes we fall hard when we focus on verse 11 and fail to see our part in God’s plans for us in the following verses.  We must call to him, pray to him…HE IS LISTENING!  We must seek him and we will FIND HIM!  He is the God that brings us out of captivity when our hearts are turned to Him. 

I am overwhelmed…I am in love with a God who loves this messed up girl!  Who pulls me into His embrace and says “We’ve got this…you are not okay…but WE ARE!”  There is unspeakable JOY in knowing God is not through with me!

So to sum it all up?  I smile because I know HE holds my future...and yes, that makes life worth living!